Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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