She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize