I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
