apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
