I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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