Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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