I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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