He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
