jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
