Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize