Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
