I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
