out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am one with the molecules
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
