Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he thought i was a dude.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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