'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
