I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
