i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
