You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
