But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
