I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
