If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
