My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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