Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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