Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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