Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
