So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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