When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
