I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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