I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
