The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
sex in a hospital.. check
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
