I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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