he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
