Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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