My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
