it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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