they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
