I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
