So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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