Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize