bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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