Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
