Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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