WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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