is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Panties = found
Randomize
