look no pants
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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