yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
