i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
