i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
