I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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