Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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