I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
did i just pee glitter
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
