TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.