Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3437) Bad night (629)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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  (708): I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event. http://tfl.nu/286m
  Replies (6) Good night (3553) Bad night (481)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  they had a keg party to fund her abortion.

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  (617): they had a keg party to fund her abortion. http://tfl.nu/e4dr
  Replies (79) Good night (2618) Bad night (5112)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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  (512): I'm so hungover that the internet is hard. http://tfl.nu/0l8c
  Replies (17) Good night (4059) Bad night (1101)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

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  (571): I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday. http://tfl.nu/tetw
  Replies (73) Good night (10961) Bad night (1526)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent

  (770): View more from Georgia

  don't you ever do that...

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  (404): i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent (770): don't you ever do that... http://tfl.nu/61yw
  Replies (29) Good night (4479) Bad night (903)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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  (786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct
  Replies (49) Good night (9331) Bad night (1209)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE

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  (508): I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE http://tfl.nu/54pd
  Replies (23) Good night (1893) Bad night (5736)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

  (760): View more from California

  Wow.

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  (901): Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered. (760): Wow. http://tfl.nu/1wu1
  Replies (16) Good night (4187) Bad night (1411)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...

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  (765): did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me... http://tfl.nu/7ye0
  Replies (7) Good night (966) Bad night (2410)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.

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  (303): Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it. http://tfl.nu/2ryl
  Replies (27) Good night (3124) Bad night (597)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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  (716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86
  Replies (11) Good night (3752) Bad night (1183)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.

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  (514): So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe. http://tfl.nu/whvh
  Replies (9) Good night (1889) Bad night (596)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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  (309): there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s http://tfl.nu/9pu3
  Replies (13) Good night (1249) Bad night (647)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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  (931): All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt . http://tfl.nu/vyqq
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (185)

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