We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.