why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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