Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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