Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
being pregnant is like rehab
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
