maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
