Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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