I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
