Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize