He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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