I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
