We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize