Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
